Till Death Us Do Part

It's Alf and Else's 25th wedding anniversary; however, needless to say, Alf has forgotten and it's left to Mike to give him a present to pass on to his wife, not that Alf is grateful.

Alf reluctantly accompanies Mike to see Liverpool play Borussia Dortmund in the European Champions cup. There, his racism takes its toll as he reacts to his fellow match-goers on the terraces, resulting in a visit to the doctor with two black eyes and no voice.

With no bathroom or inside toilet in his terrace house, Alf resigns himself to washing in the old tin bath in the kitchen whilst Else hangs her washing around him. This screens him from Mike, whom he overhears trying to sell the house in order to get an upmarket place in his name. The prospect of two toilets and an en suite appeals to Alf but he must take action when he realises he might be the young Scouser's lodger.

Alf is less than pleased when Mike's Irish parentsbcome to stay for the week. However a bizarre alliance forms between Alf and his son-in-law when Mike feels that his father is criticising him as well.

The Garnetts visit the West country on holiday. Alf is driving (badly) and, to make matters worse, it turns out that he does not even have a licence! Upon arrival, Alf has inevitable run-ins with the locals and a couple of aristocrats.